But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. The best I can be. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. While most of us answer with an uninspired I am fine, thank you, the universal greeting question how are you? Life is up to something. Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Happy, and I know it. Dont let your mind wander. Alive Jokes. Totally fine! Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. Because your ass is out of this world! If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. Could Be Better. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. You speak as if youre not single yourself! She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." 58. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. I'm wondering how you are. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. I'm happy! But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. 43. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. 62. But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. 61. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. 13. All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. I agree, thanks for sharing. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? Living the dream! Because they are already taking their time. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. 39. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. 16. funny response to are you still alive. I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. Do you have a minute? You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. 25. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? Thats because my crush is a fictional character. No, they're prison pants. Im sorry. Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. Sorry, life. Feeling confident? Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: I really thought you already knew. Maybe I am a kindergartner? For your information, Im in a relationship with food. I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) Finnish with this conversation! So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. 92. This one is funny when you havent said anything. Does the new one work any better? Thank you Fred. 93. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! 3. 2. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. 91. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. Chuck Bass? Liked what you just read? The only thing offending me right now is your face. (This line came from the cartoon show. If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. 83. 5. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. Because if you are, youre doing it right. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. More like give me a sign that. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. Get your own life first before you try sharing it. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. 2. If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. Because youre highly qualified. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. 76. Is it your job to spread ignorance? I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Just look what happened there! 73. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? Take Your Time. I only fall in love with anime characters. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. But it can be funny. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. Was that comment meant to offend me? Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. To contact our editors please use our contact form. We all grow up as we get older. I dont feel that great, but look! 6. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. 88. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. You win the internet. So, how does average sound? 97. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Then they throw dirt in your face. Click here for additional information. *Siri activates front camera*. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! This one is bound to get a laugh. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. What could go wrong? The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. WHY!? Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. Don't Push It Too Far. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. No one loves superheroes. 1. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? You look tired. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. I plead the fifth. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. 9. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." 64. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. Feel my shirt. What to say when your crush asks how you are? TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. But half the time, it is a nightmare. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. Who told you that? Stupidity isnt a crime. 2. Hope you're well". Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. Image: wikimedia commons 6. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. Mentally? For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. . Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! Getting better with every passing second. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. 18. Scroll down! Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. Financially? Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. 84. 10. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. If I had a tail, I would wag it! A little bit worse now that youve asked. Oh, what a long list. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. 1. Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? Hence, you may need to put in some effort to keep the conversation flowing. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. I hope you like some of them. I like being single. It could always have been worse. It lets him know that you love spending time together. Oh, stop it, will you? Are those space pants? 68. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 Everyone has a different sense of humor. 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. Your secrets are always safe with me. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. 16. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. Cookie Notice The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. Do you want the short or the detailed version? 1. Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . Hanging on. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? 3. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. 100. I dont think youre stupid. Youre not as bad as everyone says. How impressive! You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. via: Pexels / George Pak. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. 15. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. 3. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. - Anonymous. 85. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? Learn more about us here. "Alright. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. I repeat I am plural! . Unlikely, but worth a shot. Youre free to go. How Am I Still Alive. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. I suggest you do a little soul searching. Average, I think, that sounds about right. (Use a sexy tone). Not so much. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. This is a good response to throw out there. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. Spiritually? You just live. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. 15. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. 8. No, waitIm actually plural. 50. It's best part of the whole movie. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. 19. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. a fate worse than death." I never even listen when you tell me them. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. At minding my own business? 4. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. Hmmph.